I am an emotional panhandler.

I seek, although am often not granted, emotional cues which may indicate a sense of my self-worth. In some ways, then, I suppose that my self-esteem is fragile: Too fragile, being dependent on how others perceive who I am, and not so much based on my own innate abilities, which in turn engender self-confidence.

Is that the way to approach life, though? Probably not. While it is surely modest to take into account the perception of others, one cannot base one's self-worth on such a shaky foundation.

So this brings a need for some resolution: Do I continue on this slippery slope that guarantees crazy, unpredictable winds, or do I forge my own way, scary as that thought may be? In the short run, burying my head in the ground sounds infinitely more comforting; it is, after all, a continuation of the status quo, and humans are risk-averse when it comes to change. In the longer run, however, I will have to face the inevitable: The need to love myself, as God would have me, and as I would have myself, regardless of the opinions of those around me, whether they be good or bad.